You failed ah? Think about it and ask yourself: Did I really fail?
The truth is: things can go wrong, no matter what you do, or how you behave.
As humans full of ego, many of us have experienced being so afraid of failing at something (usually something we really wanted) that we decided not to try it at all. So, yes! The fear of failing (also known as Atychiphobia) can be paralysing – it can be considerate a serious fobia if it crosses the “line” of what we define as “normal”. In some cases, this fear can be so intense that can produce several physiological symptoms, causing us to do nothing, and therefore resist moving forward with our lives.
Also, it’s important to clarify that we all have different definitions of failure, as we all have different values, life experiences and belief systems. A failure to one person could be very traumatic depending on the part of their life when it took place and the environmental reaction (the people around you: your peers, your parents, etc), while in other place of the same planet, the same event for someone else can be a simple learning experience (you should also consider thinking this way from time to time). The fact is: we experienced and will continue to live failure in both our personal and professional lives, so we need to find a way to stop blaming ourselves and cope with it!
Think about it this way: the great thing about failure is that it provides you with a second chance. You get the opportunity to pick yourself up once again, come back stronger and have another go and the next time, you may succeed!
But why is it so hard to let go, forgive ourselves and move on? We keep on forgetting that everybody is going through struggles and everybody has experienced failures, some of us greater than we could ever imagine or handle. We keep setting goals so high, that we subconsciously sabotage ourselves without meaning to do it. So, how can we keep failure – or the fear of it — from stopping us from living a healthy, fear-free life and maybe a fulfilling one?
Here are a few guidelines to overcome successfully failure and how to cope with it:
1. Remember it’s not all about you, it’s not personal, and your failure is not you. Make an effort and separate the failure from your identity. The fact you made a mistake doesn’t mean you’re not good enough, or a failure. Try not to consider yourself as a failure just because you weren’t able yet to find a solution to your problems. Your struggles are unique and each time you need to find an original solution. Give yourself time and patience and you’ll find the answer at the right time.
2. Take a look at the past, analyze it and learn. With an objective eye, take another look at the experience, but this time, hold back all the anger, frustration, blame or regret that this particular failure brings. Ask yourself to point out why you failed. Think about what might have produced a better outcome. Be honest and contemplate: was the failure completely beyond your control? Was it your fault for real? Knowing all these facts, you can now take a step back and ask yourself, what did I learn from this experience? See?You’re not a failure. It was simply something that needed to happen in order for you to live a new experience and learn. Quiero Saber Más